It had been a great day for Max at my mom’s house. You know a kid has had a great day by the thickness of the layer of dirt on them. Even the best of days must come to an end. Mom and I got ready to give Max a bath. This was going to be a two person job getting off the dirt, grime, and ice cream sticky.
We finally got Max clean and out of the bath. There was a distinct ring forming around the tub as the murky water drained out. I had forgotten to bring her pjs into the bathroom, so I went to get them while Mom got her dried off.
After a bath, Max enjoys a few minutes of “fancy free” time. There she was, long dark curls dripping wet and her tall skinny nudie toddler bod peering over the bathroom counter trying to see her face in the mirror. She spotted Mom’s toothbrush. That kid loves brushing her teeth.
“Can I brush my teeth, Baby?” she asks my mom.
“No, Beth. That’s my toothbrush. Wait til you get home.”
“But I want to. Can I brush dem?”
“That’s not yours. You can brush them at your house.”
This went on for a while.
“Can I brush my teeth?”
“No, sweetie. Later.” my mom insists as she picks up the filthy 3T clothes and towels.
Mom kept tidying the bathroom and Beth seemed to have moved on. Or did she?
Well, with or without Baby’s help, that girl was determined to brush her teeth. “I brush my teeth.” She had a plan. She picked up the toothbrush and the toothpaste. Hmmm. Now how to unscrew the top one handed? Ah ha. Got it.
She shoved the toothbrush between her little naked legs to hold it while she opened the toothpaste to put on it. Good plan. Except, that once she opened the tube and went to put toothpaste on the brush, the brush had vanished. With legs tight together, toothpaste in one hand, cap in the other, the little nudie spun round and round looking for the missing brush. Where did it go? It was right there a minute ago. Well, it had seemed like a good plan.
That was the scene when Mom and I noticed her. But we could see what Max couldn’t: the long white stick of the toothbrush sticking straight out of her backside. Mom squealed “Eeeww” and yanked the toothbrush out of her patootie and tossed it. I was no help at all standing there laughing at them both. Mom was grossed out and Max was confused.
Needless to say, we brushed her teeth when she got home and mom was glad she had her electric patootie-free toothbrush to use instead.