One Liners

It has been requested of me that I make a “Quote-A-Day” calendar of Max’s recent one liners and quotes.  Mind you, these are just candid observations, in her oh-so-Max fashion.  Here’s a few that have inspired the calendar idea:

“I don’t really want a job when I grow up, I just want an opportunity. Like riding a horse out into the West. That’s what I wish to do.”

“I just found a nerd on the floor. The sweet kind, not like ‘You’re a nerd, bro.'”

“Mom, can I not wear flip flops for a while? I’m getting a red line between my thumb toe and my pointer toe.”

Max, pointing at my dinner plate: ” Mom, that’s meat!” Me: “That’s fish. I can eat fish.” Max: “Sorry, Mom, didn’t mean to call your fish names. ”

Max: “Why were you late getting me?” Me: ” I had a meeting. ” Max: “Is a meeting just a bunch of people sitting by papers?”

Max: “Mom, are you 50?” Me: “No, I’m 36.” Max: “Wow, that’s… ” Daddy: “Careful, Beth! ”

Max sassing big brother Cam: “You can call me a doofus all you want, I don’t care! I know my mom calls me Bethany! ”

A la military march song: “I dont know what I’ve been told, I dont know what I’ve been told, I dont know what I’ve been toooooold, but everybody else knows.”

“Usually girls like jazz, but I like ROCK AND ROLL!!!! ”

“I want to be a police officer. My friend Simon does too. He can be on my team, but I’m going to be the boss.”

Max on the fact that even police officers can get arrested: “How can the cops ever get arrested??  I mean, they are the bossiest people EVER!”

Me: “This way, Beth. That’s not our car, but it looks like it. We have a Ford Explorer. That’s a Chevy Tahoe. ” Max : “That’s a weird name for a car. A Shovey Taco. ”

Max:  “You have to dress me cute for our tea party today.”  Me: “This is a very cute outfit.”  Max: “I was thinking more like a teacup.”

Max: “What was that you gave me a drink of? ” Me : ” Passionfruit mango green tea. ” Max : ” Fashion dip Bacos green tea? It was good. “

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2 responses to “One Liners

  1. I get the first calendar as it rolls off the press and need it autographed by Max and her awesome Mama. 🙂 I love it!!

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